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Deviant for 7 Years
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Literature
Ryden (Currently Untitled)
"Take good care of my son!" Mrs Urie called from the doorstep.
"Mom!" Brendon called back in anguish, much to the amusement of Brent and Spencer. Ryan grinned too, but turned and gave her a small nod as the others began stuffing Brendon's belongings into the trunk. Going on tour was a first for all of them, Ryan mused, but Brendon had barely left the house without his mother's permission.
Ryan seemed like a nice enough boy, Mrs Urie supposed. The three of them had come over for a sleepover to celebrate their record deal not long ago. Ryan was quiet the whole time, only ever talking to the other boys when he did speak. She was a bit peeved by his grunted one-word answers, but put it down to simply being a moody teenager. She'd spoken to his mother only once and wasn't particularly fond of her, but if she was honest, there wasn't really a reason, except that Spencer's mother had been more polite.
Spencer was a lovely boy. She'd rather hoped he would realise the request was aimed a
:iconGothicaWay:GothicaWay
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Literature
Ryden: Runaways
"Has anyone seen my shoes?" George called, hurrying into the living room, not noticing his father laid on the couch surrounded by his usual beer bottles.
"Where are you going?" his dad slurred, making him jump.
"I- I'm going into town-"
"Who with?"
"My friends-"
Hi dad barked a laugh. "You don't have friends. and you wont get any dressed like a shirt-lifter."
George looked down at his clothes. "What's wrong with my clothes?" he asked, regretting it instantly.
"You're not leaving this house in a waistcoat and those stupid stripey girl pants and that goddamn swirly shirt you always fucking war!" he roared suddenly.
"It's paisley, dad.." George mumbled.
"Shut up George!" he yelled, getting up. "I don't have time for your shit!" he shoved his son as he passed him on the way to get more beer and George yelped, clutching his eye.
George ran to his room, tears streaming from his good eye. He automatically picked up his concealer from his shelf, wiped the tears away from his face carefu
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:icongothicaway:GothicaWay 1 5
Mature content
A Poem By Ana :icongothicaway:GothicaWay 5 1
Mature content
Good Boy - Ryden :icongothicaway:GothicaWay 10 10
Literature
Trade Mistakes - Ryden
Ryan sat on the edge of the couch beside his suitcase. His head was hung low over his hands. He sniffed quietly.
—-x-x-x—-
"I don't know, Bren… I think that part would work better with that melody Jon suggested," Ryan frowned thoughtfully.
Brendon turned back to the piano, mumbling something that sounded like "Why am I not surprised." Spencer coughed loudly, almost covering it.
"Ryan, can you give me a hand tuning up?" Ryan shot a look at the back of Brendon's head before sighing in defeat and heading toward Jon.
—-x-x-x—-
Ryan glanced at the coffee table the two of them had bought together, the music magazines scattered across it, the pieces of the mug he knocked over when they were fighting last night. He swallowed the lump in his throat, his eyes travelling over the broken shards scattered across the floor.
—-x-x-x—-
Brendon bounded out of the back of the bus, grinning widely at Spencer sat at the table with his magazine.
"I'm off to the shops, wan
:iconGothicaWay:GothicaWay
:icongothicaway:GothicaWay 7 12
Suckerpunch - Babydoll by GothicaWay Suckerpunch - Babydoll :icongothicaway:GothicaWay 6 2
Mature content
Homophobia Is Gay - Frerard :icongothicaway:GothicaWay 17 30
Literature
Funny Thing - Frerard Oneshot
Funny thing, life. It takes so much effort and so much time to get anywhere with it, yet something as simple as forgetting why you want to get to the top can make the mountain come crashing down on you. It takes a lifetime to build and a second to destroy.
Gerard thought about his life as he clutched the bottle of rat poison he found under the sink in his hands. He could smell the kerosene in it, the scent blocking all other thought from his head. He screwed the lid back on and set it on the floor; he wasn't making this last decision without a clear head.
He thought about everything. Life, death, music, messages, his friends, his brother... Frank. His Frankie. Only he would never be his Frankie. Gerard was too spineless, too gutless,scared of failure, yet scared of success-
He picked up the bottle and unscrewed the lid, blinking hard. The smell crept up his nostrils again, killing all logical thought alongside the pain he was pushing back. Lifting the bottle-
He heard a key in t
:iconGothicaWay:GothicaWay
:icongothicaway:GothicaWay 19 12
Literature
18-Year-Old Slain By Husband After Giving Birth
Eighteen-Year-Old Slain by Husband after Giving Birth
A young woman was found dead in the home she shared with her husband this week. The woman was brainwashed by a cult of blood-drinkers who call themselves a "family", despite having no relation to each other.
The other members have a history of recruiting partners as new members to the cult. The founder brainwashed his wife and later four other people, including the husband of the victim, (whose name has been emitted in respect for her family) into joining the cult. He allegedly expressly told one victim that she was being recruited for the sole purpose of being a partner to his "son", the second member, and also husband to the victim.
The husband of the eighteen-year-old is significantly older that her and has a history of violence, initially towards strangers, then mostly towards animals. The man, a recluse in society, stalked her prior to the marriage, watching her in secret from the woods near her father's home a
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:icongothicaway:GothicaWay 3 6
Mature content
The Fun Way - Fraycest :icongothicaway:GothicaWay 9 15
Literature
.
I've never had an expressive face.
I suppose it's a result of growing up on the outside. I'm so far away in age from my siblings and so introverted that no-one ever really bothered with me. I was left in my own company to watch others, to analyse. I thought I was learning so much from it, but I learned nothing.
My face is a mask now, my voice never giving any emotion unless I manufacture some in order to gain empathy from a human. My robot self was never equipped for this. I thought of every time I'd seen this on TV, every Hollywood actress who tosses her locks over her shoulder and falls into her lover's strong arms. I thought of all the things I wanted my best friend to know and all the different ways I've seen them shown. And I try my best to mimic them. I only hope those actresses are as talented as they think they are.
"I love you," I say and my voice wavers. Unplanned, but effective. My eyes were at the ground, but I look up through my lashes at her, eyes huge and round and hones
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:icongothicaway:GothicaWay 0 0
Literature
Beauty
I wish my skin was nicer,
I wish my hair was blonde,
Sometimes I even wish I looked like ladies from James Bond.
I wish my legs were longer,
I wish my tummy small,
I could wish until I'm blue
And never have it all.
But does it make me beautiful
And do I really care?
The thing that makes me beautiful
Is always being there.
:iconGothicaWay:GothicaWay
:icongothicaway:GothicaWay 9 15
Mature content
Animal Crossing: Creepy Pasta :icongothicaway:GothicaWay 6 10
Gerard Way by GothicaWay Gerard Way :icongothicaway:GothicaWay 16 3
Mature content
Planetary - Frerard :icongothicaway:GothicaWay 38 45
Literature
Fat - Frerard
Gerard frowned down at the scales. He saw them in the hotel bathroom and decided to see how much he weighed. It couldn't hurt to know, right? He sighed. How much should he weigh, anyway? Probably less than the little red arrow was pointing at. He felt so gross now.
The numbers whirred again as a pair of arms coiled around his waist. "Hey, beautiful," Frank murmured in his ear. He kissed Gerard's cheek and peered over his shoulder at the scales. "Look how fat we are," he grinned. Gerard chuckled, stepping off the scales. Who cares what they said? No way was he going to be told what to do by a tiny red pointer.
:iconGothicaWay:GothicaWay
:icongothicaway:GothicaWay 47 18

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My friend's psychiatrist told me that my social anxiety could be lessened by having something familiar with me. She said a stuffed toy would be best, as they have similar features to real people and it would do me good to be around it and talk to it, etc. As I have no stuffed toys and DeviantART makes me feel at home, I have been trying to earn points to buy a FELLA PLUSHIE, costing 1,600 points. I don't have any kind of shopping card, so I can only get points from the Llama/Point trade and from donations from kind Deviants. As the Llama/point trade isn't exactly a good way to get points (I got 25 from being active in it for 5 weeks), I have to call on YOU! So please donate!

*SUMMARY* For those who cba reading that ^
I want a PLUSHIE!!! I'll give you rewards if you give me POINTS!!

Donaters will receive:
1-2 points - Llama Badge
3-4 points - Llama Badge and pageviews.
5-9 points - Llama, pageviews and faves.
10+ points - All of the above and DevWatch.


UPDATE: Precisely halfway there!! Thanks, everyone!!
The donation target is going down because I'm also using the llama trade.

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I went to dinner with my parents and my mum mentioned my brother being away and not contacting home. "He's a boy, though," she told me when I wondered aloud why he wouldn't contact her; I know how he feels about talking to people better than anyone, but he know mum worries, particularly about him. It was when I jokingly went to say that I'd take pictures and send her big e mails that it happened.
I saw my bus.
I used to dream of being in a band. I know, everyone does, blah blah blah, but I mean I really. REALLY wanted it. I could see it, I could fucking taste it, being in the studio, the first person to ask for an autograph, playing at shitty clubs where no-one is listening, playing huge arenas filled with a thousand people - those were my favourites. All of it, even the bits most people already in the situation hate, all of it was everything I want.
I had to stop dreaming and start living in reality. As I said before, everyone wants to be in a band. There are literally one or two bands with female leads that make it and I don't listen to any of them. Those girls can play instruments and write songs and I can't do either of those things.
I could play drums if I was allowed near a drum kit; the first time I ever touched a real drum kit was at a friend's church and I was beautiful, she told me she'd been playing for 3 years and it took her 2 weeks of daily practice to perfect the drumming pattern I'd pretty much pulled out of my ass the first time I played.
I can sing and I have stage presence, but I can't write lyrics. I can write stories. Hell, I'm writing this the way I'd write a story just so I can pretend it's not real and it won't hurt. On occasion, I can write barely passable poetry, but I can't write songs. I need someone else's words, someone else's tune to pour myself into.
I can do other things, I barter. I can do the accounts, I can clean up after the real musicians, I can do fucking costumes if you call for it, but in the end,it means nothing if you can't write songs, or at least play a goddamn instrument. So I forced myself to stop imagining I could somehow do it. I want to go into advertising, I told myself, and I think I can do it, I know I'll be at least alright at it, but it's not where my heart lies. My mind will always be on that imaginary stage, bearing my soul through the words of another to imaginary people.
I can blame my music teacher if I want. He was a disappointment, to say the least. He hated me, but I don't know why. He wouldn't let me study music, he forced me to drop it asap. He creeps the hell out of me, but the only way to get singing or instrument lessons is through asking him. Then I'd miss parts of my other lessons to attend them and I'm awful at catching up.
I could go further back and blame my parents; they wouldn't let me learn guitar or piano, no, my sister learned piano and my brother was half-heartedly attempting guitar, so I'd have to take violin lessons. I was good, but I wasn't interested. I suppose that should set me up for my future in the advertising industry.
But no, it's my fault I let myself get to this age without learning a thing. I could have asked about music lessons on my first day of secondary school, when I didn't even know that creepy-ass music teacher,when some other guy was in charge of lessons.
I could have asked my brother if I could learn guitar; he would have said yes, hell, he would have given me his guitar, he didn't really like playing it. Now his guitar lies in the corner of my room beside my own, a left-handed electric guitar which I bought without knowing what hand I play with, and now I can't learn because I can't play left-handed.
I know I'm still young. I'm sixteen, come on, I can still turn this around! No.
1. Girl rockers are always, ALWAYS on the cusp of annoying the shit out of everyone, so don't you try to tell me that this business isn't a gender game, because I'm one of the millions who don't listen to female singers, so I'm a part of it too and I know it's true.
2. I can't write songs. I'm useless.
3. I can't play an instrument (other than violin, but what use is that). I will try to book lessons next year, but I don't think I can learn guitar and I'm not allowed near drums because my parents say they're too loud and take up too much space and I already have two guitars (which I can't play).
Look, I'm sorry I went off on this rant. It was bubbling up to the surface, that fucking core desire to be someone, to be music, and it doesn't work if I just squash it. I need to vent it out somewhere, get it out of my system, squeeze all the venom out and then let what can't be removed fester until I need to get rid of that too.
  • Listening to: my own whining :/
  • Reading: Tumblr
  • Watching: Suckerpunch
  • Eating: at Pesto

deviantID

GothicaWay
Daisy
United Kingdom
LOOK ALIVE, SUNSHINE...


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:icononyxheartedzakblover:
OnyxheartedZAKBlover Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2015  Student General Artist
Ughhh didn't you have a birth day last year? do you need another one? XD if you'd like, i can make you another pressie. what would you like? *-*
Reply
:iconbloodyroseghoul37:
BloodyRoseGhoul37 Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2015  Hobbyist Artist
Hey I love your icon!
Reply
:iconsunnybunny1199:
sunnybunny1199 Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
(If it's not too late) Happy birthday! :party: :D :huggle: :heart:
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:icongothicaway:
GothicaWay Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2014
Ahh! thankyou! I wouldn't have even noticed if it was too late because I didn't check my messages for ages xD
Reply
:iconsunnybunny1199:
sunnybunny1199 Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome, hope you had a great day! :huggle: :heart:
Lol xD
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:iconbirthdays:
birthdays Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2014
:iconballoondivider1::iconballoondivider3::iconballoondivider3::iconballoondivider3::iconballoondivider3::iconballoondivider3::iconballoondivider4:

:woohoo: :iconcakelickplz: :iconballoonsplz: !!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!! :iconballoonsplz2: :iconcakelickplz: :woohoo:

It's July 6th which means it's that time of the year again and your special day is here! We hope you have an awesome day with lots of birthday fun, gifts, happiness and most definitely, lots of cake! Here's to another year!

:iconballoonrideplz:

Many well wishes and love from your friendly birthdays team :love:

---
Birthdays Team
This birthday greeting was brought to you by: hiddendelights
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:iconjasperinity:
Jasperinity Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2014
Happy birthday! :D
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:icongothicaway:
GothicaWay Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2014
Thanks! :D
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:iconjasperinity:
Jasperinity Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2014
You're welcome! :3
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:iconmychemicalblackveil:
MyChemicalBlackVeil Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2014  Student Writer
Thanks for the llama!
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